Anal sex can be an incredibly pleasurable experience when approached with patience, communication, and the right techniques. For beginners, choosing the right position is crucial for comfort, control, and enjoyment. This guide explores the best anal sex positions for those new to anal play, along with essential tips for a safe and pleasurable experience.
Before You Begin: Essential Preparation
Before diving into positions, let's cover some fundamentals that will make your experience more comfortable and enjoyable:
Communication is key: Talk openly with your partner about desires, boundaries, and comfort levels. Establish a safe word or signal to pause or stop at any time.
Use plenty of lubricant: Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't self-lubricate. Use a high-quality, thick lubricant generously and reapply as needed. Silicone-based lubes last longer, while water-based are easier to clean up.
Start slow: Begin with external stimulation, then progress to fingers or small toys before attempting penetration. This helps the muscles relax and prepares the body.
Relax: Tension makes penetration more difficult and uncomfortable. Take deep breaths, go slowly, and don't rush the process.
Hygiene matters: Many people feel more comfortable after a bowel movement and shower. Consider using an enema if it makes you feel more confident, though it's not necessary.
The Best Positions for Beginners
1. Spooning (Side-by-Side)
Why it's great for beginners: This position offers gentle, shallow penetration with maximum intimacy and control. Both partners lie on their sides, with the receiving partner in front.
How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their side with knees slightly bent. The penetrating partner spoons behind them, entering from behind at a comfortable angle.
Benefits: The receiving partner has control over depth and angle by adjusting their position. The close body contact feels intimate and reassuring. The penetrating partner can easily reach around for clitoral or penile stimulation.
Tips: Place a pillow under the receiving partner's hips for better angle access. This position allows for easy communication and the ability to pause comfortably.
2. Doggy Style (Modified)
Why it's great for beginners: While traditional doggy style can be intense, a modified version with the receiving partner lying flat on their stomach offers more control.
How to do it: The receiving partner lies face-down on the bed with a pillow under their hips. The penetrating partner lies on top or kneels behind, entering at a downward angle.
Benefits: This position naturally tightens the anal muscles slightly, which some find pleasurable. The receiving partner can control tightness by squeezing or relaxing their muscles. The angle allows for relatively easy penetration.
Tips: Start with the receiving partner completely flat, then gradually adjust the hip angle with pillows as comfort increases. The penetrating partner should support their weight on their arms to avoid putting pressure on their partner's back.
3. Cowgirl/Cowboy (Receiving Partner on Top)
Why it's great for beginners: This position gives the receiving partner complete control over depth, speed, and angle of penetration.
How to do it: The penetrating partner lies on their back. The receiving partner straddles them, facing either toward or away (reverse cowgirl/cowboy), and lowers themselves onto the penis or toy at their own pace.
Benefits: Total control for the receiving partner means they can stop, adjust, or change pace instantly. They can start with just the tip and gradually take more as they relax. The penetrating partner can provide clitoral or penile stimulation easily.
Tips: Use plenty of lube and take your time lowering down. The receiving partner can place their hands on their partner's chest or the bed for support and leverage. Facing away (reverse) can provide a different angle that some find more comfortable.
4. Missionary (Modified)
Why it's great for beginners: Face-to-face positions allow for eye contact, kissing, and emotional connection, which can help with relaxation.
How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs raised and knees bent toward their chest. The penetrating partner kneels or lies between their legs.
Benefits: Excellent for communication and intimacy. Easy to maintain eye contact and read your partner's reactions. The receiving partner can control depth by adjusting leg position.
Tips: Place pillows under the receiving partner's hips to elevate them and improve the angle. The receiving partner can rest their legs on their partner's shoulders or chest, or keep knees bent and feet flat on the bed for more control.
5. The Lazy Dog
Why it's great for beginners: Similar to spooning but with the receiving partner lying face-down, this offers a comfortable, relaxed position with easy access.
How to do it: The receiving partner lies flat on their stomach with legs slightly spread. The penetrating partner lies on top, supporting their weight on their forearms.
Benefits: Very relaxed position that doesn't require the receiving partner to hold any particular pose. Natural angle for penetration. The penetrating partner can whisper encouragement and check in easily.
Tips: A pillow under the receiving partner's hips can improve the angle. Start with the penetrating partner's legs outside their partner's legs, then gradually move between them as penetration deepens.
Important Safety and Comfort Tips
Never go from anal to vaginal: This can transfer bacteria and cause infections. If switching, change condoms or thoroughly wash toys and body parts first.
Use condoms: Condoms make cleanup easier and reduce the risk of STI transmission. They also make it safer to switch between different types of penetration.
Listen to your body: Some pressure is normal, but sharp pain is not. If something hurts, stop, add more lube, or try a different position or angle.
Take breaks: There's no rush. Take breaks to reapply lube, adjust positions, or simply pause and reconnect with your partner.
Aftercare matters: After anal sex, some people experience minor soreness. This is normal. A warm bath, gentle cleaning, and avoiding further anal play for a day or two can help.
Enhancing the Experience
Combine stimulation: Many people find anal sex more pleasurable when combined with clitoral, penile, or nipple stimulation. Don't focus solely on penetration.
Use toys: Butt plugs can help prepare for penetration and enhance sensations during other sexual activities. Start small and work your way up.
Set the mood: Create a relaxing environment with comfortable temperature, soft lighting, and privacy. Feeling rushed or anxious makes relaxation difficult.
Stay hydrated: Drink water before and after. Proper hydration helps with overall comfort and recovery.
Final Thoughts
The best anal sex position for beginners is ultimately the one that feels most comfortable and pleasurable for you and your partner. Don't be afraid to experiment with different positions, angles, and techniques to discover what works best for your bodies.
Remember that anal sex should never be painful. If you're experiencing pain rather than pressure, stop and reassess. Add more lube, try a different angle, or take a break. With patience, communication, and the right approach, anal sex can become a enjoyable part of your sexual repertoire.
Most importantly, there's no pressure to enjoy or engage in anal sex. It's one of many ways to experience pleasure, and it's perfectly fine if it's not for you. Sexual wellness is about discovering what brings you joy and satisfaction, whatever that may be.
